Tv Tragedy Survivor Gifts

Robot Bores

Desert Island BBQ

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Emergency Pants

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'You've waited on hold 45 minutes just to speak to my boss? Seriously, sir, get a life!'

'What luck!'

'In defense of rotten movies, they DO have the remarkable ability to make it seem like maybe your life isn't flying by that fast after all!'

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"I took two lessons before I released my first album."

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

Welcome centre

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

That Bear Grylls eats some EVIL crap, I'm telling you!

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

Deflating Island

'Your turn.'

Women castaways are joined on the island by ugly men.

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

"An exclusive group. Each survived three scandals and was re-elected."

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

"It's from, The Environmental Protection Agency. They're fining us for polluting the ocean with messages in plastic bottles!"