Tv Tragedy Survivor Gifts

Robot Bores

Desert Island BBQ

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

Emergency Pants

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

'He needs professional HELP!'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'In defense of rotten movies, they DO have the remarkable ability to make it seem like maybe your life isn't flying by that fast after all!'

'You've waited on hold 45 minutes just to speak to my boss? Seriously, sir, get a life!'

'What luck!'

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

Welcome centre

"I took two lessons before I released my first album."

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

That Bear Grylls eats some EVIL crap, I'm telling you!

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

'Your turn.'

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

"An exclusive group. Each survived three scandals and was re-elected."

Deflating Island

Women castaways are joined on the island by ugly men.

"It's from, The Environmental Protection Agency. They're fining us for polluting the ocean with messages in plastic bottles!"