Serial Sitcom Watcher Gifts

"Try to remember to flex your ankles and if possible walk up and down the room."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

"They don't call them reruns anymore...they call them deja-views."

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

Bunny TV.

"This now concludes our broadcast day."

"C-Span is our reality television."

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

Wonder woman as an old person.

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

'We had the perfect marriage until we took the magazine quiz.'

'Ralph finally got the remote control to work - his way.'

Rowan Atkinson,

Phil Silvers: Spot the Difference

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

Mensans Behaving Badly

Further Sanctions

To recap: Last week, Rudy attended the Sadie Cohen's Attitude Adjustment and Rapid Response Training Seminar. In case you missed it, a flashback. Drop and give me 20 highly-personal insults. Drop? You call yourself a lady? No, wait, what? But then magic happened. Drop, and give me … Pipe down, bearded lady. Rudy Shock Jock is in the house!

'Of course I threw it - It's a throw pillow.'

'Make of it what you will, but your daughter doesn't realize that Homer Simpson is supposed to be funny.'

Bob Crane - Spot the Difference

'Hello Cynthia, it's me...I thought I'd phone for a natter, Gerald's fallen asleep in front of the TV...trying to program the video.'

'I know na-sink, na-sink!' - Sgt. Schultz's secret is discovered

Are you still watching?

A man is standing up with a remote stuck between his butt cheeks-he says;'Nobody is going anywhere until the t.v. remote is found!'

"We've agreed, then—earthlings cannot join the Intergalactic Federation until they've improved the quality of their sitcoms."