Serial Series Skipper Gifts

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

Daredevil. No. But it's been months now. I wanna talk about it. Well, I haven't watched the last couple episodes yet. Blasphemy! You have one job as a modern American consumer of Netflixian entertainment: and that's to binge-watch every episode the day the series is released. Sorry, little buddy. Some of us have lives. What's that supposed to mean?! Careful what you say around seniors. You'd never be man enough to handle a good Price is Right marathon! You distract it while I make my escape.

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

Crime Prevention Seminar

"That's where everyone started getting sick of me."

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'

Sailing

"It is a tossup between the devil you don't know and the devil you don't wan to know."

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

'Could you change the channel? This program even put the bird to sleep.'

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."

'You want us to go fishing tomorrow? Wait, I've got to check my appointment book.'

500 channels and still ntohing we haven't seen before!

'I started to read the headline but then my mind wandered.'

'Caution wet deck'

"How was my internet date? Put it this way, I went online hoping for broadband; I got dial-up."

'What's wrong, haven't you heard of Global Warming?'

'Mind if I go ahead? I've just one can of dog food.' - 'Goodness no. If you're that hungry, go right ahead.'