Season Skipper Gifts

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"How?"

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

'I can't come to school today because I have a barking cough. Wanna hear it?'

Crime Prevention Seminar

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

'What type of line are you using?'

Sailing

Person shovelling snow remembering the past

"You know what school needs? - A fast forward button!"

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

"It's a note from my mommy. She says I don't have to attend."

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

In the supermarket

"This is Plan A. I recommend we skip it and get right on to Plan B."