Serial Relaxer T-Shirts

"You never had to learn to relax, did you Fred?"

'It's your birthday, if you point me in the direction of the kitchen I'll cook dinner, darling.'

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."

"I thought I placed myself on a 'Do not call' list from you people. Well, as long as you're here, can you put Mom on?"

"Ahhh... close enough."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Chillaxing!

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

"For heaven's sake lighten up, Roger! You're supposed to be on holiday."

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"First break since 1996!"

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

'I like what I do but I love what I don't do.'

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

"My husband hid my laptop to stop me working on vacation."

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

Lazy dog.

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

"Sure, I had a retirement plan. Stop going to work"

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

His entire life was about balance.

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"

'My husband has retired from the bench.'

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

"Have you ever thought about dropping a few pounds, dear?"

'He unwound on his vacation and never wound up again!'