Serial Monogamy Commentator Pillows

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"I don't see what you see in him."

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"Now who's being judgy?"

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'I'm no good at sports, so I'll just have to settle for a trophy wife.'

"I liked you better as my first husband."

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

Bread Winner-Need More Dough

"I don't want to get too serious."

"I married him for his intelligence, turns out that was artificial as well!"