Serene Stock Strategists T-Shirts

"I came up here to meditate...but I do a little stock trading on the side."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

'It's a silent protest.'

Stock market books.

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

Wall Street Investing.

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

To Stock Exchange

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

If you're so good at picking winning stocks, why do you still have to work?

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

'Bulls and bears are my yin and yang.'

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

'Now this is the kind of office decor I like.'

Business Report - "...buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy..."

'You're watching the stock market wayyy too closely.'

Felson, Donne, Peters & Free Market Forces

'Economist'