Serene Stock Strategist T-Shirts

An airplane has stock market tickers on it.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

A vampire in a canoe.

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

Standard And P****d.

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

Listening to Coldplay.

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Stock market books.

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

Wall Street Investing.

To Stock Exchange

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

'Bulls and bears are my yin and yang.'

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

If you're so good at picking winning stocks, why do you still have to work?

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

'Now this is the kind of office decor I like.'

'Economist'

Business Report - "...buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy..."

'You're watching the stock market wayyy too closely.'

Felson, Donne, Peters & Free Market Forces

Risk Management - ''Be careful' All you can tell me is 'be careful''