Sentimentality Skeptic T-Shirts

Fini. That show was schmaltzy, way too sentimental. I'll never criticize anything that can be described as "cheesy"!

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

'It must be good chocolate for six bucks a box.'

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

Attic of hopes and dreams...

Have I told you lately that I love you

Cupid misses his shot.

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Storage Unit of Love

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Yes, but.

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."