Sentimentality Skeptic Gifts

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'It must be good chocolate for six bucks a box.'

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

Have I told you lately that I love you

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

Attic of hopes and dreams...

Cupid misses his shot.

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Storage Unit of Love

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

Yes, but.

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"The family has spent all week crafting a beautiful service of words and pictures - far too sentimental to be of practical use."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"