Sentimental Techie Gifts

"You didn't cry at the sad movie we watched last night... but you cry seeing your first computer!!"

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Big Data Tonight

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Online Dating

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

I don't need lobster and music and wine....

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Hiya, Beautiful! What's your access code?"

Passions flared. It was like they had some sort of powerful,cross-platform,internal wireless connection going on.

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.

"The kids are growing up so fast."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Binary Meditation.

'That must be my computer date.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

First O.M.G. church.

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Using a social media app to date

Holy phone

You Have 1 New Messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

No, Hal, I don't have a picture of you in my wallet, but much better than that...you're my screen-saver at work!

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

"Not on my watch..."

"I can accept Mum's gone, but I can't bring myself to press 'delete'."

Romantic young couple on a bench next to a bilious old man.