Sentimental Techie Gifts

"You didn't cry at the sad movie we watched last night... but you cry seeing your first computer!!"

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Big Data Tonight

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Online Dating

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

I don't need lobster and music and wine....

"Hiya, Beautiful! What's your access code?"

Passions flared. It was like they had some sort of powerful,cross-platform,internal wireless connection going on.

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"The kids are growing up so fast."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'That must be my computer date.'

First O.M.G. church.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

Binary Meditation.

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Holy phone

Using a social media app to date

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

You Have 1 New Messages

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

No, Hal, I don't have a picture of you in my wallet, but much better than that...you're my screen-saver at work!

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"Not on my watch..."

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'