Sentimental Storyteller Gifts

The Gramma Awards

"Extra! Extra! News of a gentler, bygone time!"

"Now I think of Mom whenever it's cold."

Boy talking to his mother

Chronic anxiety - 'Martha, we have been happily married for fifty two years now. When is the other shoe going to drop?'

Talking christmas tree

'This is the same table we had when I proposed years ago. See? It still has my fingernail marks.'

'He stood there in the half-light; he was all she could ever hope for in a man.'

"My Son Never Calls Me."

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Edgar Allen Poe

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Bacchus.

'Cow in love'