Sentiment Statistician Gifts

"Have you finished working out whether you still love me?"

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

The Map of the Human Heart

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"That must be the artist over there."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Attic of hopes and dreams...

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

Have I told you lately that I love you

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.

Mushy Peas

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

Satis Factory Tour

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

"Why are you special? Because I'm your mommy, and I'm special."

"105% of the staff who completed 84% of the process were 95% sure that it was a 100% waste of time."

"The family has spent all week crafting a beautiful service of words and pictures - far too sentimental to be of practical use."

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

Julius and Isabella Dufferburger, statistically average family with their 2.5 children.

'She won't go anywhere without her Teddy Bear...'

"Jack, I'm looking through these old love letters, faded flowers and other sentimental objects meant to inspire tender memories… junk?"

Fini. That show was schmaltzy, way too sentimental. I'll never criticize anything that can be described as "cheesy"!

My statistics are not rubbish. Why are you always so mean?