Sense Of Humor Club Pillows

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"You two seem oddly suited."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"Would you like to try them out?"

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"Well, class, HUMOR isn't usually considered a basic sense, but we'll add it anyway..."

"A family party isn't complete until we all insult Tia Rosa's ex-husband."

Pope Kimba XXIII.

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

"Very funny."

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

"The test results have come back - you ARE a t**t."

"It requires so much less work than a dog."

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

"I want to report a race crime.'

"What do you love best about me. . . my handsome face or my sexy body?"

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

The chefs were helping local actors who were tired of having short roles... by giving them a long loaf!

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

"I want you to leave here today with a message of joy!..."

"It's not you. It's pea."

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"Welcome to Baby Co. You have some big pants to fill here, young man."

'We are banned from reporting inside that country, so instead our correspondent joins us from the Dog and Duck, just around the corner.'

Nebraska Fans

Ok, I know a sarcastic slow clap when I hear one.