Seniors With A Spring In Their Step Gifts

Late Bloomers

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Facelift Book.

Old Frogs' Home

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"I'm with grandad now - yeah, he's fighting fit."

Bed and Breakfast

"You're never too old to learn..."

Pensioner's Romance

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"Can you fit him with remote control facilities, doctor"

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Living Longer Magazine.

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

'Oh crap, it's my mother.'

GPS for Baby Boomers.

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'