Senior Sensei Gifts

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Hi-yah!"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'Not that slowly back...'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"Dr. Sykes is our expert in anti-matter."

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"He'll never be good enough to snatch this pebble from my hand."

"We've replaced the old look with a new look to get a better outlook."

You say steam, water and snow are all the same thing? Chemistry. Yep -- They're "ice-otopes".

'I won't have any drops today, nurse. It's raining so much...'

New Scoots for Old Coots!

'Getting old isn't so bad when you consider the only other alternative. . .'

'Let's face it, Old Simkins is well past his 'best before' date...'

"That'll be another 50c for my retirement fund."

Sign on the door at Karate School.

"What if global warming is real?"

golf

Rest Home

Teaching dog to fetch slippers.

The law of the jungle

Martial arts man breaks chair when sitting down.

"Ten, night, eight, seven. . . ."

The Seam Reaper

"Actually, no, Sue—four is not a great age."