Senior Martial Artist Gifts

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Overjumpers

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Hi-yah!"

"Ninja bread men"

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Women's Martial Arts Center

I love you. You're my everything. Mixed Message Arts.

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'Remember me?'

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Mod Kwan Doh

Old Karate Master

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

A street fight.

Mitch Lee, kung-fondue master.

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

'Somebody keeps snapping all the stud boards in half. Anybody know anything about this?'

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

A martial arts student saws a block of wood in half

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"What did I tell you about practicing on the cat?"

'Your Thai-chi-chicken Sir.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Cluck Norris in...LAYED in ACTION!

"Hold on - the ref is checking the rule book."