Sensei Gifts

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Hi-yah!"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'Not that slowly back...'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"Remedial Karate"

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

VACCINATION REFUSAL

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"Dr. Sykes is our expert in anti-matter."

"you want to get out a bit more you do"

"He'll never be good enough to snatch this pebble from my hand."

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"We've replaced the old look with a new look to get a better outlook."

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

You say steam, water and snow are all the same thing? Chemistry. Yep -- They're "ice-otopes".

Conference Bingo

Sign on the door at Karate School.

"That'll be another 50c for my retirement fund."

"What if global warming is real?"

golf

Teaching dog to fetch slippers.

Alien in Science Fiction Section

Martial arts man breaks chair when sitting down.

The Seam Reaper

"Ten, night, eight, seven. . . ."

"No, I paid the electric bill."

"I'm writing an inverted sentence like you told me. That's what I'm doing."

'When you can grab the pebble from my hand, then you will be ready.'

"One of you will unfriend me."

Be the ball.

"In my opinion we should lift the lockdown now... before the pandemic is over."

"This call may be recorded, set to music, and released on our own label, where we retain all rights. How can I help you today?"