Senior Self-care Advocate Pillows

"I wish to return this mirror - it makes me look old..."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Self-esteem room

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Are you OK hun?"

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

Breast Height Chart

Sheep In Curlers

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Oh, I'm fine. I just had to take a personal day to recharge my batteries."

'Mom's Spa'

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

"Hair spray"

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

'How can I be the symbol for happiness and be a blue bird?'

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"I know you're always taking care of everyone else, but you need to take care of yourself, too. Also, I need my stethoscope back."

"Someone to see you!"

Complete Makeover

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."