Self-care Champion Pillows

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

"I'm still waiting for an event to justify the kind of money I throw at you."

'Part of a healthy lifestyle is realizing that the numbers on the scale are completely irrelevant to well being...'

Scale: You don't want to know.

"Have you ever had a super-bad hair day?"

"Everything goes right to my hips."

Dissatisfaction/Anxiety

"Are you OK hun?"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Self help acupuncture

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

The adoration of the gels.

Spa

Surfing the daily stress

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

Dating is so expensive...

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Self-esteem room

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Mr Metrosexual.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."