Self-care Promoter Pillows

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Self help acupuncture

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Work/Life Balance

Spa

Bad fake tan day.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

Bad hair day!

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Surfing the daily stress

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

"You left your demons here last week."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Dating is so expensive...