Self-care Promoter Gifts

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Self help acupuncture

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Work/Life Balance

Spa

Bad fake tan day.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Surfing the daily stress

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Bad hair day!

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

"You left your demons here last week."

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"