Self-care Champ Pillows

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Self help acupuncture

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

The adoration of the gels.

Spa

Surfing the daily stress

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

Dating is so expensive...

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Self-esteem room

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Mr Metrosexual.

"Are you OK hun?"

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

Breast Height Chart

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Loofah Lady