Senior Moment Humorist Pillows

'Honey, I'm growing old... I forgot the contract for the important customer, I forgot a meeting, I even forgot my purse and the office key...' - 'Excuse me, but... who are you?!'

Senior Jeopardy!

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Toothless Meal

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'Did someone say something?'

Old man has a walking stick case.

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."