Senior Management Gifts

'What's the point of being senior management if everyone's going to be compensated fairly?'

"I have decided to change your title from Procurement Director to Director of Buying Things."

"A big decision has to be made. Assemble all my 'yes' men."

"Now that we've made our first billion, we gotta stop making decisions by playing 'paper, scissors, rock.'"

'You've seen the executive wash room, you've seen the executive cafeteria. This is an executive,'

Senior Management Slacker

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

In the past, status symbols for senior management were regarded as vital.

"There's a real drive to show that the firm takes diversity issues seriously. . ."

I thought senior management would be safer being replaced by AI

"Questions have been raised about our leadership skills!"

Diabolical bureaucratic management

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"Of course I'm behaving like a big baby. That's part of my formula for success."

"To thrive in these challenging times we need to embrace charge, to welcome it. It's the only way to survive and grow!"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

Senior Partner works at a desk, sign on wall behind her says 'Ms. Davis senior partner - formerly: 'Hey You'.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'When you look at me do you see a woman or a senior partner?'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'I want the research department liquidated with extreme prejudice!'

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

Pensioner's Romance

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

"Until you're top management, Warrick, I strongly suggest you stay within the lines."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"Congratulations J.L., I hear you're getting another 'really' in your title."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'