Senior Living Strategist Gifts

Cutting the cost of assisted living facilities

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"I don't know who you are!"

Environmentalist Brainstorm

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

Green Energy used to power polluting industries

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

The Transition Oz team on their way to Totnes to get advice on Reskilling, Transport, Oil Dependancy and overcoming Post Petroleum Stress Disorder.

Putting money back in to the world economy

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your 401k is?"

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Pension planning for Brexit

"Did you order takeout?"

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'