Semaphore Enthusiast Gifts

F**k Off

Reading my Critics

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Soldier armed with a pen.

The devil you know and his plus one

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

The Devil's in the detail!

Freedom of the press

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

A Poem about Sand

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Censorship.

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

If poets wrote road signs.

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

Bad Career Move

"now let's try one without the tusks."

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

'It's a demonstration by people who disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it.'

Censorship is killing free society.