Semaphore Enthusiast Gifts

F**k Off

Reading my Critics

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

The devil you know and his plus one

Soldier armed with a pen.

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

The Devil's in the detail!

Freedom of the press

A Poem about Sand

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'I think you've put that in the wrong place.'

"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."

Censorship.

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

Bad Career Move

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

"now let's try one without the tusks."

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

Please enter "my way" or "the highway." Tough guy GPS.

Censorship is killing free society.

If poets wrote road signs.