Selling A House Gifts

'I'm just sayin', maybe we should look for another real estate agent!'

'Now before you get all upset, I got ten percent above market value.'

"When I said it might sell faster if you put in a new driveway, I meant if you repaved the old one."

'Would you mind holding my printer, my other phone is ringing!'

God Bless Our Asking Price

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

"Yes, I know what all the comps say, but my house is special."

'Property ownership is SO nineties! Gerald and I sold our house to a private consortia and are leasing back.'

Sketchy Real Estate Agent

For Sale

'Good news! We've got a buyer.'

For Sale.

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

Shoe house.

'My bubble burst!'

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

"Hang on - I thought you said it was a listed building..!!"

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

'Let's see, you folks need to sell your home before you buy a new one. How about waiting in the lobby for 2 or 3 years.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Nonsense! What makes you think there may be a damp problem?"

'Is this the open house?'

Real Estate Sign - Desperation...

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

Sold at almost the price we bought it for

'By appointment only!!!'

'It's neither a buyer's market or a seller's market. At the moment, it's an estate agent's market.'

Home seller has given up after reducing price many times.

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'Let's sell the house and move into your tax shelter.'

Estate Agents.

Commercial Real Estate

"Leave this house and never return! It's a seller's market!"

'This is built on an historic location. It was the first garbage dump in the country.'

Man walks past estage agents. Sign on the door says 'Pushy'.