Selling Your Home Gifts

'Our house is being staged. Dad says we've got a good shot at getting in - if we can pass the audition.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

Mouse real estate!

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

An exaggeration of estate agents

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

Igloo sales

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

House sale.

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

Shoe house.

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

"We'd like to buy your house, then offer you the job of demolishing it."

The Movers - Decluttering

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

House for Sale.

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

'Let's sell the house and move into your tax shelter.'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

"I told you he was a motivated seller.

'Think about it: There were over three million of us co-owning this ant-hill, so we only got a few cents each...'

'It's a dump, but it's a steal at this price.'