Self-sufficient Savant Gifts

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Nuclear generation of energy.

"These latest surveys are very reassuring."

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

Reuse it or lose it.

Complete Makeover

'Doesn't bother me. All my money is in carbon-cleanup technologies.'

Recycle or ruin the planet?

'But we spend all our money creating toxic waste. We were hoping someone else would figure out how to detoxify it.'

"Okay...so I could have been wrong about a few facts..."

Piggy Bank ATM

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

Friends of the Earth

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

Magazines - All Special Green Issues.

Industries with clean energy

'As a rationalization specialist I actually have a concept to cut our deficit quickly and effectively - Just do a head stand'!

Energy Saving Conference.

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

Green Lamp Lighting Monument

Planet Lover

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

Carbon footprint

"Oh God, an ozone hole made in China!"