Self-reliance Seeker Pillows

Man pulling UHAUL truck himself.

'Guaranteed! By the end of the summer he'll be so self-reliant that you can cancel his allowance.'

They hated me.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Critisize your weight.

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"Now that I've solved all my problems, I think I'm ready to create more"

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

DNA Analysis.

"I think I can". (train)

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.

Giving Things Up For Lent.