Self-reliance Enthusiast Pillows

"Daddy's way of helping you with your homework is not to help you."

'I fired them all. 2,437 of them. I'll go it alone.'

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

What else is there to wish for?

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

Self Help / Elf Help.

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

It's A Breeze

A gorilla at a cocktail party thinking to himself "Fake it 'til make it".

Life is like a tube of toothpaste

When you're wearing your big girl pants...You Can Take On The World!

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Thoreau, doing research on chapter 7'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

Paranoia Clinic

Finance Sector: Art of Rain Making.

"I was just like you, then I hired a life coach. Now look at me!"

Pastoring for Dummies

Cycle of Professional Development