Self-reliance Advocate Pillows

"No, thanks - I'm a libertarian."

"Look, I don't like feeling sorry for myself, but I think if you want something done right you have to do it yourself."

Work. The era of Big Government and handouts is over.

In case of fire call yourself.

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

"Does this make me think I look good?"

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

'Thoreau, doing research on chapter 7'

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

Catalan sentence

"Never mind how other see you, how do you see yourself?"

Narcissus' Cat.

"Gracie, can you make me soar?"

"I am very comfortable with my bovinity."

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

"If you love yourself then you'll never be alone."

"In this dream I am flavor of the moth, and double-chocolate-fudge ripple doesn't scare me."

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

Body Shaming

Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.

"Even my mother and father never believed in me."

"Be honest, Ralph, does my butt makes these pants look big?"

Anthony Rottweiler: Motivational Dog Speaker

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'See, I told you you were beautiful.'

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"