Self-publicity Enthusiast Pillows

'Look out... here comes the Trumpet Voluntary.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

Blog Breakdown

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

The Girl With The Draggin' tattoo: 'Hot...Cold.'

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Sorry, I don't have an opinion - just in case I get vilified on social media. . ."

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

"These are my true colors and I don't care who know it!"

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

Narcissus

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

A woodpecker fashions a statue of a woodpecker.

'It doesn't matter if you win or lose: it's how much face time you can generate on the 6 o'clock news.'

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

"Your career needs a jumpstart. Rehab is pass?. How about 3 weeks in prison?"

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

The Social Media Expert

This could be your blurb.