Self-representation Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm supposed to warn you of the perils of being your own attorney...but I can't do it with a straight face."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

Tragedy, Comedy & Selfie.

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

Justice 4 Ron

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

The Girl With The Draggin' tattoo: 'Hot...Cold.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"Sorry, I don't have an opinion - just in case I get vilified on social media. . ."

"I don't care what you think: it's cool, it's sexy, and I feel totally empowered."

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

Caterpillar Paranoia

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'I never forget a face.'