Self-revelation Enthusiast Pillows

"You can't identify as me."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

Caterpillar Paranoia

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

'All his life, Mel has been convinced that he's a poster boy for something... he's just never been able to figure out what, exactly.'

'I'm prescribing a patch to help you get over your inhibitions. Put it over your eye and pretend you're a pirate!'

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'I never forget a face.'

"I'm desperate to have an inner child of my own."

"I get the feeling you're still keeping a lot of yourself inside."

Other People

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."