Self-revelation Enthusiast Pillows

"You can't identify as me."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Caterpillar Paranoia

'I never forget a face.'

"I'm desperate to have an inner child of my own."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

'All his life, Mel has been convinced that he's a poster boy for something... he's just never been able to figure out what, exactly.'

Other People

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'