Self-help Scout Gifts

'Hey, wait -- if you say I have a 'will to fail,' then I have been successful!'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

Support Group for a Good Problem

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Relationship Warning Lights

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Window Treatment

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.