Self-help Satire Fans Gifts

Life is for the birds.

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

End the Winter Blues

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"She's a miniature."

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

'Who's the new guy?'

"It's trickle down."

Standard & Poor

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"You calm down."

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Greed.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Neversource"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

Telekinetics on strike...