Self-help Buff Gifts

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'An Inferiority Complex Carbohydrate.' A loaf of Blunder Bread thinking, 'Sigh ... other breads have more fiber and fewer carbs than I do ... '

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Relationship Warning Lights

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

Window Treatment

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

How to win friends and Influenza People.