Self-examination Gifts

"I've done a lot of soul searching, and I've come to the conclusion that I should be thinking less about money and more about naked women."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Sigmund Freud.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"Watch carefully...it hurts when I do this."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"Adolescencia"

Man looking down long telescope at himself.

'I just feel so used all the time.'

"...And, what might 'the road' represent?"

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

After a lifetime of searching, Leonard finds himself.

"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

Psychiatry. Why go on a voyage of self-discovery when I can just Google myself?

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

Selfie-Conscious

"There you go, self-mythologizing your childhood again!"

"I'm trying to be myself and you're not helping."

'Being yourself is not helping this marriage, Jack.'

"Sigh...Iconoclastic, but not an icon."

"No luck on the child, but I got in touch with my inner TEENAGER."

'I got in touch with my feminine side and totally grossed it out.'

"I always felt as if the child inside me had to be accompanied by an adult."