Self-empowerment Seeker Gifts

A queen with a blue cape

They hated me.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Critisize your weight.

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

"Look, it's my word balloon."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Mod Kwan Doh

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Now that I've solved all my problems, I think I'm ready to create more"

DNA Analysis.

"I think I can". (train)

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.