Self-empowerment Seeker Gifts

A queen with a blue cape

They hated me.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Self help acupuncture

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Critisize your weight.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"Look, it's my word balloon."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Mod Kwan Doh

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"Now that I've solved all my problems, I think I'm ready to create more"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

DNA Analysis.

"I think I can". (train)

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.