Self-conscious Stylist Gifts

"I finally found a look that covers all my flaws."

He was a good man. She was going to miss him.

"This is daring, but I like it."

Little Princess.

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

At the suit makers

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'I'll take it!'

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'There! Now you won't get tangles!'

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

The quarantine self cut.

Choosing What To Wear.

No one ever discovered Mad Jake's secret: he was taking a correspondence course in interior decoration.

Bald man with a brush on his head

Colay's glass bottom boat tours!

Cut out and keep your own Wardrobe Assistant.

'Is that a wig?'

"You don't find a style. A style finds you."

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

"Does this shirt make me look gay?"

'We have to talk.'

'We need someone who dresses as badly as you and has an ability to accept criticism...are you interested in the job, jerk?'

A scalf of sloanes

Professor Axxis feels naked jogging without his toupee.

"Don't worry. The button is purely decorative."

"Be honest: Does this shirt make me look like a blockhead?"

"This is first-quarter projected-earnings report--does it make my butt look big?"

Man deciding which hat to wear

"Guess where my Guccis took me today."

'All this stuff's made in sweatshops - its awful! I'm not buying clothes someone's sweated on!'

'Still ugly? Then come in and get p****d'

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."