Style-conscious Gifts

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

Pampered and poodled.

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Dog Dressed to Eat

Keeping warm.

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"