Fashion Conscious Gifts

"You're all confused again Edith. This is a SWEATER shop!"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

"I’ll tell ya who’s got a ‘dark side’: my cat, that’s who. You should see what she did to my Manolo Blahnik pumps!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

Christmas sweater alternatives

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

"Overkill, dude."

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

Beware of Dawg.

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

Chippunks

'...but since no fossils of dinosaur clothing have yet been found, what you see here is mostly speculation.'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Social Struggles

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

"Hold on a minute, will you? I just want to see what color Charlie Rose's tie is tonight."

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

A Woman's Conquests.

"How much more for pinstripes?"

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

'I imagine you're interested in one of the more highly visible occupations?'