Style Savants Gifts

"We can't wear vintage - we are vintage."

How to have long, luscious hair in two easy steps 1) Have short, luscious hair. 2) Don't cut it.

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

New Suit.

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

New Shoes.

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

Dress for Success suit shop: 'Can I pay you for it later, after I get successful?'

Tie Rolls

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

The Return Of The Minipants

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"Don't say a word! Your eyes, your hair, your T-shirt, your luggage—they say it all."

"It's a nice halo and all, but I'm not sure it matches my outfit."

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

Bald Man Overcomb

"It's just a beginning, I suppose, but I'm feeling really good about my clothes."

Swan in a trenchcoat.

Trendies, INC

Choosing What To Wear.