Self-analysis Aficionado Gifts

"There you go, self-mythologizing your childhood again!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I'm the bad guy..."

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

Jacques Lacan

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

"I consider myself a passionate man, but, of course, a lawyer first."

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

Caterpillar Paranoia

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

'I never forget a face.'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

Other People

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.