Seize The Day Strategist Pillows

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

When cockroaches go unchecked.

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

'Talk to my lawyer.'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

"I can't cook, but I can pay."

Soccer Moms

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with sports.'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

'Your ego seems to be your primary problem.'

'Why do I always have to be the one to connect the dots for you people?'

DING DONG!

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

"She's a little overworked but, depending on what happens next Sunday, I'll probably jump back on."

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

The baseball players psychiatrist.

'Mom's in the bedroom trying on scenarios.'

Service Entry.

"My mistake. It was the mailman."

'Would you believe we forgot to put anything in the contract about him actually playing football?'

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

"I forgot to call in dead."

"Gotta go."