Sick Day Strategist Pillows

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

'I won't be in to work today... I woke up with a bug.'

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

'I need a sick note to cover me for the London Olympics.'

Excuses to not go to work - 'Dial An Excuse'

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

"I forgot to call in dead."

"I'm sick and can't come to school today. Do you need a loaner?"

'If I work at home and I'm sick, do I have to go to the office?'

Free Bonus Symptoms!

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

'Another sick note from your employer !'

"He's never had a day off work through illness. He always stretches it to a week!"

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

'Have you heard of the Phrase,'Survival of the fittest'?' 'Uh-ho!'

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."

'If you have a toothache, take the day off, you would be useless at work anyway...'

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

'I'm sorry, Mr. Harris is not here. In fact nobody's here. I think it's a staff infection!'

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'Has there ever been such a sickly group of rugged individualists.'

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

Woman watches TV wrapped up in warm clothing.

When the cats realized that Hubert had permanently taken over their favourite couch, they took action.

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

'But I couldn't run in front Dad - I didn't know the way!'

Go home and take your cold with you.

'Take ten days off work.'

"It's not the flu. I got a very bad case of tired blood."