Seer Of Style T-Shirts

"This is the only spectacle frame that fits your special needs, sir."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

A women in a shoeshop.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

Pampered and poodled.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Keeping warm.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Do you like my little black number?'

Mr Metrosexual.

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

At the suit makers

"I don't like your application."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags