Seeker Of Self Gifts

"At long last! My search for self is over!"

"Good game."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"I gotta be me!"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Tiny Visions

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

Zenemies.

"Needs to get a life"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'